I couldn't really believe what they were saying. 'Soft markers'. And I went for, I went for a normal 12-week scan, at my local hospital and everything, they said everything was fine, there was no problem. At first the closeness came through a sense of guilt. The weeks since that day have been very weird. To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account. . The termination would be averting a tragedy. We saw the consultant, who was reassuring, saying that he would rescan me and was sure everything would be fine. When I think about how long it took them to deliberate ultimately, maybe not, but it just felt like a bit of a fast food situation, didn't it? And nothing prepares you at all. DS had 2 soft markers: talipes (club foot) and 'echogenic locii' somewhere - heart I think. Possibly with hindsight we could have been more worried about it, but was probably a good thing we weren't, because we weren't worried about anything basically. We had amnio and then spent a week in absoute anguish waiting for the outcome which was no trisomies. Two days, after on Christmas Eve, (my 12 week date) I had more blood tests. What happens at the second midwife appointment? It sounds crazy, but I just knew. It is also sometimes referred to as the mid-pregnancy scan. The pain was bearable but uncomfortable, the hospital rang me a few days later and asked me how I was. He bluntly told me, he wasn't interested in whatever was seen before, he was only going to go by what he saw that day. We were convinced everything would be OK. Apologise for somehow doubting their right to be in this world. And at that, I let out a scream I think. For many other women, the 18-20 week scan was the point at which they discovered the baby had serious problems. I wasn't unduly worried at all. I felt crushed, I wanted him to at least acknowledge what had been found already. (See. Has anyone been told the sex incorrectly at their 20 week scan? We had the same conversation, but obviously were not making any sense to her at all. And I can just remember flashing a look at you as if to say, 'Have I made a mistake here somewhere? Not marginalised into being a victim. But you could see there was something wrong? Find more information and details of support groups on NHS.UK. If you are not sure, you can contact them and ask. And having read, since read my information on Edwards' syndrome, a good 85 per cent have problems with the heart. We were denying him his life. In a small number of cases some very serious conditions are found. I faced another internal scan where I began to feel helpless and alone. Do you have any thoughts about that? I hated my body and hated every feeling I was having. Have I misunderstood what's going on?' the amniocentesis) and the pregnancy had already ended, or because the scan was not routinely offered in their region 5 or more years ago. This might be uncomfortable. No one else felt him kick. I give pregnant women dirty looks. And again, you know, you read all the books and it tells you 'this is the diagnostics', but after a while you don't hear that inside your head any more No, no, no, I'm fine - because everything's perfect. In the case of a suspected abnormality, women should be seen for a second opinion by an expert in fetal ultrasound, such as a fetal medicine specialist. Let a mum know you're thinking of them send one of our personalised Mother's Day cards today, Home Living in this world must be unbearable for them. We left for home feeling completely numb. We use some essential cookies to make this website work. Sam followed and I broke down. Is it the same scan or is it the same equipment? In fact, interestingly enough, going sort of. He told me that they may want to do blood tests, but that 'he didn't see the point'. I was then told yet again bad news. I thought I was going to burst into tears. I had my little leaflet, printed off leaflet about choroid plexus cysts. Some people we talked to had not had a 18-20-week scan, either because their babies' abnormalities had been detected by earlier diagnostic tests (e.g. That's fine. I was then told yet again bad news. But on, in the middle of March, 10th March it was, we had a 20 week scan. She wanted to have a look at the skull, which was the main thing, but she couldn't see it from where the baby was. It is as though our pain means we've earned the right to be taken more seriously. The hardest thing I have ever done. That was the first time I had heard him cry. Desperately trying to hold onto the glimmer of hope we'd been given. The following is a quote from their report: If the scan reveals either a suspected or confirmed abnormality, the woman should be informed by the sonographer at the time of the scan. The scan will find about half (50%) of those babies who have heart defects. The doctor wanted to do another blood test to confirm a significant drop in my hormone levels. He started to scan me with a cold expression, then told me, 'it didn't look good' and that 'my womb looked raggedy'. Seated in the antenatal clinic with lots of expectant mothers with baby bumps. I know I could have delivered him in a quarter of the time, but I couldn't bear the thought of him leaving me. Many people were deeply affected by their experiences of the 20-week and subsequent specialist scans. Actually you could tell from the brain development as he scanned up through the chambers of the brain, that one quarter of the brain, one chamber was not evident. 18-20 week scans provide clinicians with more information than earlier scans because by18 weeks a healthy baby should be larger and better developed. It's part of our family. They said the brain was okay -, We were in there for a matter of minutes, literally -, In and out. Finally, Monday came and we went back to the hospital. Read full disclaimer. And I'd been on the internet looking up all sorts of things and everything was so negative, it was very depressing, because I thought, 'Well, maybe they've made a mistake, or maybe it's something they can fix, I don't know'. Maybe. Everywhere you look, there are happy, fat, smug pregnant women. The same anticipation. Because we knew that that wasn't normal, that wasn't what we'd experienced before, it wasn't just the, 'There's the arm, there's the leg, oh look the baby's moving'. These were said to be soft markers fo a range of trisomies, 2 of which were incompatible with life. If one of the conditions is found or suspected, the sonographer may ask for a second opinion from another member of staff. unfortunately the 20 week anomaly scan can pick up serious issues, hearing heart beats at midwife appointment doesn't let us know what's going on inside the body in detail. We scattered his ashes over a bunch of snowdrops. We strongly advise readers not to take drugs that are not prescribed by your qualified healthcare provider. As I was called for my scan I was nervous and emotional. The contractions started very quickly and within an hour my waters had broken. In most cases the scan will show that your baby appears to be developing as expected but sometimes a condition is found or suspected. In some cases concerns in utero fix themselves sometimes needs treatment. He was sure the consultant on Monday would see that the measurements were completely normal and that there was nothing to worry about. Tissue paper will be tucked around your clothing to protect it from the ultrasound gel, which will then be put on your tummy. I want to be happy again. The gel makes sure there is good contact between the probe and your skin. The results come in stages. He sounded like a wild animal in pain, deep pain. So it was, there was very, very little movement from the baby because I remembered first time round by that stage, you know, that the baby was quite big and it moved around a lot at a later scan. The consultant had said it wouldn't be like a normal delivery. To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account. Because, when you're angry with the world for dealing you such a shit time, you begin to hate the people who populate it. He suggested he perform an amniocentesis immediately, to rule out any chromosomal problems. Seeing your baby on a screen can be really exciting. We had to discuss what we wanted to do with the little body after delivery. I have a terrible hatred of pregnant women and a new respect for infertile couples. I popped out from work, telling my boss I'd be back in half an hour. I just want to be normal again. And I am slowly coming to terms with what has happened. I couldn't bring myself to push. Please ask your hospital about this before your appointment. And, faced with feeling sorry for myself or feeling sorry for my child, I know which I'd choose. Wishing to be anywhere, but here being told the same agonising truth over and . Entering the labour ward, I waited for someone to say, "Go home, you are 16 weeks too early." I thought surely everything is ok, as they couldn't detect twins the week before. Specialist scans are performed in specialist fetal units and if clinicians feel that there might be problems scanning will be done up to 32 weeks. All women are offered a dating scan, and an 18- 20 week fetal anomaly ultrasound scan, in line with NICE and UK National Screening Committee recommendations. The thing that I have a very strong memory of is this child's face in amazing detail. So that was it. And they took me into another room. He looked excited. And I'm glad I did and she's glad she didn't. Severe chromosomal conditions such as Edwards' syndrome are now often picked up in the first trimester antenatal screening but itwill usually be more obviousat the 18- 20 week scan, though usually a firm diagnosis will not be made until one or two specialists have weighed up all available evidence about the baby - which usually means that another expert needs to scan the baby again, or until the woman has had an amniocentesis. After the triple test you stop thinking, you stop thinking that anything can go wrong. . The scan was inconclusive, but the size of my little bump was measuring a lot smaller than it should have for 10 weeks. So had to come back in a week's time for a scan, which again is quite a common thing I found out. I was told that while bad news at the 12 w scan is often of the life or death kind, bad news at the 20 week scan is often of the 'needs an operation in childhood' or 'needs to wear a brace for a year' kind. We thought it would all be over very quickly but, in fact, it was another 11 hours before the baby was delivered. It's been a heartbreaking nightmare. Emma was 20 weeks' pregnant when a routine scan revealed that the baby she was expecting had Down's syndrome and heart problems. In order for the sonographer to get good images of your baby, the scan is carried out in a dimly lit room. This is not what I imagined pregnancy to feel like', Baby Loss Awareness Week - Voice Five - Bryony Seabrook. And the local hospital wanted to send us off to the regional hospital to actually confirm that, and were not really prepared to say at that time that there was something very seriously wrong. We had the 20 week scan yesterday and got some devastating news. Eventually, the midwife said to us very sweetly, "I think we should deliver the baby now." So and you could see the exomphalus, this little pouch, which was obviously just the intestines where they are. It will take only 2 minutes to fill in. Sometimes doctors will wait to give the baby more time to develop and carry out repeat scans - this had confused several parents we talked to who had gone for repeat scans not knowing that the baby might have a problem. Good luck has not come easily over the past few years. Some hospitals do offer earlier anomaly scans of the baby, but they will not show as much detail as scans performed between 18 and 20weeks. And the first few things they said it didn't sound as thing, as though things were terribly wrong. So she said, 'Come back on Monday. But it is a soft marker for Edwards' syndrome. I felt the dread run through me. We bought a two tests that evening (quite lucky as I messed the first one up!). Last reviewed July 2017. We also use cookies set by other sites to help us deliver content from their services. I wrote a few things down last night when we were trying to go over things, just to remind myself. She describes having to make a . b>Bad news at 20 week scan. He had to come to the decision by himself. Previous scans in this pregnancy and with my first child had been fun - a chance to see the baby wriggling around and perhaps find out its sex. You're in and out and that was it. And the next day we went back to the hospital and we had another scan with a specialist, and he confirmed it was a condition called holoprosencephaly, which I'd never heard of any of these words before, they were just such long words. It felt like a lifetime to reach our 12-week-scan. And, for a few hours, I'm convinced I've made a terrible mistake. Which she reassured us that she'd be absolutely fine, this was a one-off. No one else ever met the object of my grief. At which point they turned round and said, 'Well, there is something very seriously wrong with the baby, we don't know exactly what, but you do need to have a more in-depth scan at your regional hospital to find out the detail'. Baby loss stories And you know, we were laughing and joking. 26/09/2019 22:46. Looked exactly like our two year old as a baby. Health professionals use the 18-20 week scan to examine the baby's size and position, and also to check if his/her brain, heart, lungs and other internal organs are developing as expected. The 18 -20 week fetal anomaly scan is a watershed in most pregnancies because for the majority of women it will be the last time they are scanned before giving birth. Went off for the 20-week scan, which you didn't, you weren't there, were you, for the first scan? Instinctively, did it feel right? The same unique expression he had when he saw our two year old born. A long process of blood tests, scans, doctors and hospitals. I was another one who did get bad news at the 20 week scan. Where we have identified any third party copyright information you will need to obtain permission from the copyright holders concerned. And, sometimes, I wish I had invited my whole family into the hospital room to see him. I did think it was a bit strange that she wasn't talking, and then she sort of said, 'Oh, I think there's a problem. 18-20 week scans provide clinicians with more information than earlier scans because by18 weeks a healthy baby should be larger and better developed. Spina bifida can usually be seen clearly on a scan and of those babies who have this condition, around 9 out of 10 (90%) will be detected. I didn't really know what that was. I believed at this point I had miscarried, they wanted me to come back I'm for a follow up scan. And thank God I did. Instead, I had to raise a glass of water to my mouth, take a swig and swallow the tablet. Has anyone been told the wrong sex at 20 week scan? So he went out for a walk. I think there might be a problem'. So even if anomolies are found, they don't always mean a problem.. x. I had issues at the 20 weeks scan with both of mine. It is also sometimes referred to as the mid-pregnancy scan . So I no longer trusted my instincts. So we decided to book an early 10 week private scan. We decided that we wanted medication to help me. But everything seemed fine and we'd been sitting waiting to see the consultant, and I'd had an examination on the bed. You have accepted additional cookies. I had no issues at my 20wk scan with DD - and neither did any of my antenatal group (9 mums). So we'd gone through the Down's syndrome or worse scare, we'd had conversations about what we would do, if it was confirmed that it was Down's syndrome or another syndrome, another sort of chromosome abnormality. And I assumed my partner would feel the same. I give obsessively to charity, especially those linked to sick children. It was just a few little things like the kidneys were hard to find, and the stomach was hard to find, but that might be because it wasn't filled with fluid. I was sent home with a leaflet, strong painkillers and two types of antibiotics. It took 20 minutes to push him out. And I knew there was no way out. Trying to carry on as normal, working and putting on a brave face. Yeah - in, stomach, out. So we went back the day after Boxing Day, the 27th, and the consultant greeted us, which made my alarm bells go, and she started scanning us and I think her lines were, 'What concerns me about this baby is that they've got a diaphragmatic hernia, which has meant that part of the stomach of the baby was in its chest cavity.'. But I still didn't want to be the one who stopped this baby's chance to live. I want to be nice again. The sonographer then passes a hand-held probe over your skin to examine the babys body. And so this one can't tell you anything, it's pictures, you're going, you're going to see your baby, you're going to get pictures. There was an extra digit on one of the hands. And then, so I went to my next scan, which was the 20-week abnormality scan, and we took our first child with us, I think he was 17 months old at the time. There is more detailed information about the main conditions that are looked for during this scan on NHS.UK. At this point it wasn't looking great. Likely to have serious medical problems all his life. Wishing to be anywhere, but here being told the same agonising truth over and over again. Public Health England (PHE) created this information on behalf of the NHS. Yeah, yeah. . By the time I left the hospital, I was in shock. The baby was kicking so hard that I began to believe him. Several parents said they would have preferred being told something, even it was vague. The consultant showed us the letter with our result on and, yes, there were the words "Down's syndrome". I was sat on the sofa working, my son was at nursery and my partner was in the bath. I think they perhaps could have done, if they had looked a bit closely. It can be such a shock so do whatever you need to feel better. I felt more informed, and I felt that that was what I needed in my head to see you know, that I've got to accept now that this, all these things are real on the screen and this was really my baby that's suffering all these things [sighs], but I was sad as well. My son's congenital heart defect was detected at the 20 week scan and he had 2 other markers, no . So, in the end, we said we would arrange our own funeral. I tried to keep positive. I know it is still early days. So at 20 weeks I went for my scan with my husband, with my daughter, to get our photographs. With my oldest it turns out she has a minor thing that affects 1 in 1000 of the population and wont harm her at all it's just "there" and with my second the issue turned out to be nothing. I know its hard- but i really wouldnt worry about it too much as the worry will stress you and your body out. And even at that early stage it was beginning to sink in that there was something really not right. As soon as we arrived, we were shown to this little room. Limitations of the 18-20 week scan Those two weeks were agonising for us both. And so began the most bizarre day of my life. Registered office: Nicholas House, 3 Laurence Pountney Hill, London, EC4R 0BB. We felt as if we were in limbo. You've had, you've had your Down's Syndrome check and that's okay. That he was small. Being generous and kind generally happens only when you're happy. Our position in our families has shifted. It wasn't measuring at all the right measurements for the age - there was a heart defect, the limbs were sort of distorted, the arms were, you know - you could see that the arms were very sort of contracted, the hands were contracted. Again, no notes can have been written down because the midwife asked the same question. I just feel very unlucky. As though I went power mad for a week, killing my innocent unborn child, and now I am tainted for ever. Most scans are carried out by specially trained staff called sonographers. Another sick joke. It felt as if we'd gone underground, that we were part of the criminal fraternity. This publication is licensed under the terms of the Open Government Licence v3.0 except where otherwise stated. What would we like to do with the body? It was horrible. How common is it for 2nd baby to come early..? Baby loss support And they, sort of two of them were looking at the scan machine and then they sort of switched everything off and said, 'Oh, I think we have, might have a problem'. Several women had taken young children with them to the 20-week scan because they expected to see 'nice pictures of the baby'. Laura miscarried her twin babies in February. Well, at the regional hospital it was a 3-D scan. I've still had no cramps or bleeding so fingers crossed everything is ok I just couldn't believe I fell down the stairs, I can't remember the last time I ever did that! You will then be asked to raise your top to your chest and lower your skirt or trousers to your hips.